


Misfortune is Destiny ; yizhan

by sleepywoonie



Category: Bjyx, YiZhan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gay Male Character, M/M, Minor Character Death, Old roman beliefs, Seven years of misfortune for Yibo, Slow Burn, Superstition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 19:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 16,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26662813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepywoonie/pseuds/sleepywoonie
Summary: Once a mirror gets shattered, the last person reflected will be condemned with seven years of misfortune.A young kid, at the age of fifteen, unintentionally broke a mirror and will be plagued for seven years.How will these years be for the cursed boy?Will an encounter change everything?
Relationships: Wang Yi Bo/Xiao Zhan | Sean
Comments: 14
Kudos: 57





	1. Synopsis

Most people, once they are older, cherish their teen days, as it was when they could feel slight freedom; a period of rebellion but also a period of crucial growth. Though, adolescence is not only remembered for these motives.

When your age reaches the double digits, we tend to start feeling all grown up and, with the society of now, we are forced to do so quickly.

If we go back a few years in time, the atmosphere and lifestyle were quite different. Young teenagers used to be satisfied with the simplest things; you gave them solely a ball and they would manage to do so many different activities with their friends.

Now, how many are like that?

They see someone with something cooler and high technological and they want it too.

Although, this is our present, who is to say that the past won't repeat itself?

One factor that has remained relatively constant are superstitions, especially in certain areas of the world.

Superstitious people may be less if you compare them with the past, but they are still present.

People believe that if a black cat passes by you, then definitely something will go wrong in your life soon. Others believe that if someone shatters a mirror then they will be cursed with seven years of misfortune...

All these superstitions are not without any reason. They all derive from ancient myths which were passed on generation for generation, until the present time.

The Romans and Greeks had very different beliefs and their knowledge was still very backwards.

If you were to shatter a mirror, the misfortune you will have would it be because of it or is it just inevitable, a part of our destiny?


	2. Chapter One

**_Seven years_ ** **_ago_ **

One particular summer changed fifteen-year-old Yibo's life. His father, who was unemployed for a few years, managed to land a job away from their small town and in the heart of the nearby city. Both parents sought this as a good opportunity to change home and give Yibo a way to explore the variety of people and cultures present in congested areas. 

Once warmth started to overthrow the chilling cold, the Wang family started preparations and the young boy had to share the news of separation to his friends; who were already exhilarated by the fact that in a month's time school would be over and they could meet up whenever they felt like. 

Goodbyes were said and promises to keep in touch were made. 

...

It was already nearing mid-July when the moving day arrived. All of them were sleep-deprived for their own reasons; Mrs Wang and Mr Wang had stayed up discussing what they had to do first thing at their new home whilst, on the other hand, Yibo had bid his parents' goodnight and went to his bedroom, where no longer a nice mattress bed coaxed him to fall into a deep sleep, but a simple sleeping bag instead.

Yibo's emotions were all over the place and - when the room became cloaked in darkness and silence ruled upon all others - he became restless. Anxiety and adrenaline forbade him to close his eyes. 

That night passed treacherously slow until Yibo could start hearing the town waking up from its slumber. 

He got up from the sleeping bag while trying to rub off the tiredness from his eyes, causing him to lose his balance and trip over his own feet. 

The young boy did not even realise he had fallen; he was not the type who managed to function properly without sleep. Therefore, he just remained there lying down on the floor until a knock on the door resounded in his still dark room. 

"Yibo baby, what was that noise? Everything alright? Was there a spider or something?" 

The last phrase pronounced by his mother made him jump up instantly; frightened to the bones that one of those horrible monsters would crawl up on him. 

"Spider?! Where?!" 

Laughter could be heard from the other side of the door and an elder man's voice asking for some help, from further away, abruptly made Yibo's mind to wake up. Today was the D-day. 

He opened the door and the boy came to the realisation that change is on its way in their life, his life. The house he considered home was utterly bare; no furniture to fill in the space, no photographs to cover the bland offwhite walls. The only things left were some boxes they would put in their car and a mirror which used to adorn his parents' bedroom. 

He walked through all the rooms, even the roof, recalling all the memories he had made with his beloved ones during the fifteen years he had spent there. Sunrays penetrated in each room and all Yibo could do was crouch down; allowing himself some time to come to terms with everything. All he needed was to accept it...but this was easier said than done. 

After a few minutes the fifteen year old got up from his position on the floor and decided to go help his parents - before he would get an earful from his father saying that they have such a lazy son.

They all worked in silence; communicating with the bare minimum of words when needed. In no time all the remaining boxes were already placed in the trunk of their car. 

''Yibo, do us a favor and carry that mirror to the backseat with you. Be careful when you carry it because there is no packaging, okay?''

The boy, who was just called for from his father, was about to sit under the tree to give his skin a break from the scorching hot sun; as he preferred keeping his appearance as frail as possible. 

Releasing an annoyed groan, Yibo walked back in the house to follow orders. 

The object in question was carefully placed against the adjacent wall in their used-to-be living room. Its size was nothing grand but the glass was held in a very exquisite, intricate frame of dark mahogany wood. 

The closer he got the more he could see his own reflection, not a smear of dirt could be seen on the surface; as his mother diligently used to clean it more so than not. 

He slightly bent his knees to get a good grasp on the object and lifted it in the air; the glass facing in his direction. Yibo took small steps, trying his very best to see where he was placing his cladded converse feet. Unfortunately, his small movements of cautiousness were fruitless as a sunray directly landed on the glass which then reflected it straight into his eyes. 

He stopped at once, not wanting to loosen his grip on the mirror and drop it. 

Yibo slowly opened his eyes in a squinting manner to intersect the blinding ray of light. Though, as he completed the action; no longer acting like a handicapped person, he suddenly saw something else reflecting in the mirror besides himself. 

It seemed like something or someone was cloaked in a black material, slowly but surely the figure started to get bigger, taller than Yibo. The latter could not move his limbs voluntarily, he felt almost as if he was undergoing something supernatural. An unexplainable sensation had overcome him. 

A hand appeared from underneath the cloak and it slowly reached forward to point at its chest area, the further it went the more the human-like hand began to disappear once again into the black void. 

Yibo, seeing this with his own eyes, in utter terror dropped the mirror and screamed out loud on the top of his very lungs. 

Pieces of glass were immediately sparsed onto the floor and the young boy shook like a leaf during a winter storm.

''Yibo, what happened?!'' 

Both his parents ran in to find their son shaking on the floor alongside their now broken mirror. Without a second to spare they quickly bent down in front of Yibo to see if he had injured himself with the shattered glass. 

As the mother placed Yibo's head on her lap, to try and relax him, they saw one of his arms deeply cut, causing blood to steadily seep out of the fresh wound. 

''Yibo, speak to us, honey. What happened to make you so scared?'' 

In the meantime, his father quickly went outside to call an ambulance.

For the remaining time until the medics came the adults did not manage to make him speak, fortunately enough he at least stopped shaking so fervently. 

Once help came, Yibo's arm had started to stop bleeding, as his mother had tied a cloth slightly higher up from the wound to stop the blood flow. The medics asked for the order of events to diagnose Yibo but, with the bit of information the parents knew, the professionals could only assume that the boy was just very tired because of the moving and so, in a moment of drowsiness and disorientation, the incident occurred. 

Nonetheless they had to take him to the hospital to stitch up the wound and run some tests just to make sure nothing was out of the norm. 

...

The next time Yibo opened his eyes, he found himself in an unknown room. Surrounded by nothing but just void; 'til that damned entity,he had seen in the mirror before entering in shock, reappeared once again. 

The young boy tried to ask who the cloaked being was but his mouth remained tight lipped shut. Anxiety started to rise underneath his skin, though Yibo tried his best not to show it. 

During his moment of interior struggle, an imperative and resonant voice echoed in the void. From incomprehensible words and murmurs, they turned louder, clearer until it sounded almost as if the voice was speaking in Yibo's mind. 

''How dare you merely touch and destroy such a godly tool! The gods shall make thou pay by making you suffer until thou's life shall be cleansed and renewed!'' 

Yibo curled up on himself as much as humanly possible, covering his ears to try and lessen the dull ache which began to increase.

He writhed in pain and so desperately wanted everything to stop at once. The boy's eyesight started to become blurry and he succumbed to the void entirely. 

...

''My baby boy, please wake up for mama.'' 

Hearing his mother's calming voice, Yibo slowly opened his eyes again, praying that he would not find himself in that void. Luckily, he found himself in a hospital room; surrounded by his parents and one of his arms wrapped up in a bandage. 

His mother was holding the uninjured hand delicately and when she realised that he had awoken, she quickly asked her husband to call for a doctor to check on his condition. 

''Hey, little lion. How are you feeling now?''

Yibo did not know how to reply to such a question. These last few hours were unexplainable and he was aware that if he were to try and explain what had happened nobody would have believed him, as not even he knew what he experienced was real or just purely created by his own imagination out of tiredness.

Nonetheless, he did not want to further worry his parents'; as the moving was already stressful enough for them, therefore, he just said that he was feeling faint and dropped the mirror.

''I'm really sorry for breaking the mirror... Pa had told me to be careful, I should have listened to him.''

His mother knew that her son would say such a thing and she quickly got up from her seat next to him and hugged him, caressing his hair to comfort him. 

''It's just a mirror, Bo. Your being is much more important to us than a simple mirror. We can always buy another one for our new home but you could never be replaced. You are so special to us, our little treasure. We are just glad you are okay now. Once we go home, don't do any work, go straight to bed and take care of your arm for two weeks, got it Mister?'' 

Yibo felt some relief hearing those words coming directly from his parent. 

''En, Ma. I will, do not worry.''  
  


...

Yibo's journey has begun.

Will he manage to overcome the events that await him?


	3. Chapter Two

After completing all the health tests at the hospital that day, they set off immediately to their precedent destination. Once they entered the city, the young boy could already feel a sense of foreignity. He was overwhelmed, to say the least. His town did not stand a chance against that city. Every single thing was on a grander scale, and the number of people who roamed the streets made them look like a flock of sheep in Yibo's eyes.

The drive took longer than expected - caused by the heavily congested roads - and the young one tried his very best to keep up a conversation with his parents, in the hope of distracting himself from highly unwanted thoughts.

At long last, the Wang family arrived at their new residence.

Their home was no longer an independent house, rather an apartment on the sixth floor in the heart of the city. Though it was smaller, its price was practically equivalent to a normal-sized family house.

Once Yibo's father unlocked the door, his parents quickly went around to see if anything was amiss, as they had not seen the apartment in real life but only online.

After inspecting, and fortunately finding everything functional, his parents went down to get their belongings whilst he had to remain in the apartment by himself.

Alone in his new home, he felt troubled as he started to think about the words that were said and the unexplainable entity he had seen just a while back.

What did it mean by the godly tool? Until his life is renewed?

He shook his head fervently, not wanting to pay heed at such nonsensical things. Yibo was quite sure that he was just exhausted and hallucinated; a fruit of his vast imagination. Nonetheless, it seemed as if his body was not his own. A slight tremor passed through his body, from head to toe. The voice he had heard before in the hospital resounded once again; though angrier.

It was already nearing late afternoon, so the sun had begun to be replaced by the moon. It was no longer warming the Earth. In the apartment, it started to get darker than outside, all lights switched off abruptly, and the temperature went down; making Yibo sneeze and sniffle. The young boy jolted for the door leading outside with the hope that his mind would stop playing tricks on him, once he was in the company of his parents.

Although his plan was cut short. He used his uninjured hand to open the door but to no avail. Closed it was and closed it remained. Yibo continued to try, though once he reached his limit, he could not take anymore the mantra playing in his mind and screamed helplessly; banging on the door wishing that his parents would come back sooner.

Solely a few moments passed, and the mentally tired boy's throat felt hoarse; only a mere cracked cry managed to rise from his throat. Right at the moment when Yibo was about to lose hope, the locked door opened, revealing his parents and a young boy around his age; who held a pair of keys in his left hand.

Being welcomed by such a scene, his mother dropped the boxes she was holding and yelled out his name, ''Bo!''

''The d-door was lock-ked...'', Yibo said whilst hiccuping and wiping away the stray tears - that had trickled down his face, during those moments of helplessness - not wanting the newcomer to think of him as a boy without a backbone.

''Bo baby, we are sorry for scaring you to this point. That young boy, child of the landlady, was kind enough to help us unlock the door. Everything is alright now, okay?''

Yibo again shut his mouth before he let out what actually had happened to bring him that down. His gaze drifted to the boy that helped his parents, and when the latter felt somebody looking at him, Yibo quickly pretended that he was looking at something else.

It seemed that the other had already noticed and went up to the young Wang, who was still sitting on the floor even though his mother had gone to get him a glass of water. The unknown boy sat down slightly further away from Yibo on the floor and began to speak with an euphonious voice, ''Hey, I'm Xiao Zhan, I live on the first floor if you wanna hang out or need anything.''

Yibo became flustered, not knowing how to reply. He opted to remain silent and wait until Xiao Zhan would give up and leave him alone. Though again, nothing went according to his plan as the latter continued his sort of monologue, ''Why is your arm bandaged?... Your parents never taught you that it is rude to ignore someone who's speaking to you?''

At this, Yibo did not want to put his parents under a bad light; as if they were incapable to raise their child properly.

''I just fell by mistake.'', the boy replied, though very coldly and short, he replied, and in Yibo's books, that was certainly sufficient to say to a stranger.

''You saw something in the mirror before dropping it, what was it?'' Xiao Zhan initiated to decrease the distance between them, his eyes seemed dazed but filled with curiosity. Yibo had not mentioned any mirror, so he could not get how the boy knew such a thing, and why would he want to know what he saw? Should not the other be doubting his sanity or something like that?

''I don't know what you are talking about.''

''Haha, your parents told me what happened, as for the second part, I was just joking around. Did I manage to spook you out?''

Yibo held in a sigh of relief, not wanting to give the other the wrong idea, ''I thought you were crazy...Nothing so stupid could happen in real life.''

Xiao Zhan lightly laughed and nodded along to what the former was saying.

''Zhan Zhan, you should start heading back soon before your parents start worrying and think we've abducted you!''

After their new acquaintance had left the apartment, Yibo got up from his sitting position on the floor and snatched the glass of water from his mother's hand. They had just met him, yet his mother already called him with a nickname as if he were the child of one of her friends, does that seem normal?

Little Wang already knew that they were not going to be on good terms. In his eyes, Xiao Zhan did not look like a typical teenager of his age; how he spoke or even his mere movements made him look like a much older person. In short, Yibo decided that he will make their interactions with the boy as minimal as possible.

''Seriously, Ma? 'Zhan Zhan'?'', the younger put extra emphasis on the nickname.

The lady in question shook her head and giggled; saying that Zhan had helped them, and he was very sweet... She hoped that he could become Yibo's first friend after moving.

...

His parents, after two hours or so, managed to settle down, and seeing that it was already around dinner time, they decided to order some food as the kitchen was still bare of anything edible. Once done from eating and cleaning up, Yibo was sent off to bed as he had gone through a rough day and needed to sleep well that night, so tomorrow they could go exploring around the city.

Retired to his new room Yibo immediately put on all the lights, closed the window and curtains. He looked around skeptically and prayed to God that he would manage to sleep without hearing that voice and nonsensical words anymore.

Little did he know...he was only at the tip of the iceberg. What awaited him?

Well, the answer to this question is: Yibo will have seven years ahead of him to experience it fully.


	4. Chapter Three

The next day Yibo felt rejuvenated; he managed to sleep well without any interference. The young boy got out of bed, paying mind to his injured arm, and progressed into his usual daily routine. After greeting his parents and sharing breakfast, all three went separate ways to change their attire as they had decided that they were going to explore around the city and maybe buy some things which might be a necessity for their new home.

At last, they left their home and were going down the stairs when, once they reached the first floor, a door leading to another apartment opened up, and Xiao Zhan came out.

''Good morning, Mrs. and Mr. Wang and Yibo!" the newcomer well mannerly pronounced.

The Wang boy saw his own mother's smile grow in size when she recognised Xiao Zhan's voice, whilst his father kept up his usual stoic face, solely nodding in a sign of greeting.

''Zhan Zhan, good morning to you too!", Yibo's mother urged her son to do the same, but the latter, who feigned ignorance, proceeded to leave the building. He had promised himself that he would limit their interactions to the bare minimum and swore to keep it as such.

Though it seemed that for the past few days, luck wasn't on his side.

Yibo leaned his body weight against his family's car and waited for a few minutes, wondering the reason why his parents took so long at just greeting someone they had only met yesterday; it is not like they could have had so much to talk about.

Well...he was wrong. Before he was about to push himself up to see what was taking them so long, his parents came out but with an extra edition to their duo. Xiao Zhan.

Yibo's eyes were about to bulge out in surprise, and wrinkles began to form on his forehead as his features contorted in confusion.

''Yibo, you should close your mouth if you don't want any insect to go in!'', the other boy jokingly spoke and walked up to the dumbfounded Wang.

''Let's go!", Yibo's mother said enthusiastically.

Therefore their outing began with Xiao Zhan as their guide. They went to various places that were packed with other people, and Yibo was not really paying attention to his surroundings as he did not really care what their 'guide' said and suggested.

They were walking through the street market; endless stalls filled with numerous colours, giving the ambiance a wondering feeling of freedom. Different dialects could be heard, some rougher than others, bargaining, or asking the origin of the product they wanted to purchase.

Though nothing can be solely beautiful and exciting, everything has another side; one that is not always shown, but once it appears, you'd remain shell-shocked.

Yibo was immediately intrigued by the vibrancy that the place gave off and stopped at each and every stall. Losing track of time and eventually even of his parents.

Upon realization hit him, he frantically turned his head in every direction, standing on the tip of his toes to try and see above the mass of people. He tried to remain calm as he knew that there was no point in getting afraid. After thinking for a few minutes, Yibo decided to continue walking in the same direction they were going in and carefully searched.

He continued walking ceaselessly, frequently apologising to people to whom he had bumped into. As his search continued, while passing by a small alley on his left-hand side, Yibo suddenly heard a low voice - which belonged to a kid - crying out for their mother.

Hearing the feeble cries, the boy couldn't just continue without first seeing the kid's situation. Therefore, he left the busy street and entered into the narrow, heavily shaded alley. Two grimy young kids came into his vision rather quickly; both were crouched down crying for their mother; Yibo most likely presumed that they were siblings.

The Wang fastened up his pace and bent down in front of the youngers, trying his best not to scare them. He spoke in a soothing voice that not even he knew he could muster as he was not in the best state either, "Hey, lost your mama? Everything is going to be alright. This gege will come to your rescue!"

Once he was about to help the two up, Yibo was suddenly gripped by the back of his T-shirt and dragged further into the alley... further away from the busy road, further away from his parents.

Yibo began to trash and push his body away from the unknown person, but it seemed that his strength was nothing compared to his rival. The young boy even tried to scream, hoping that someone might hear his cries, but he was immediately shut up, having now a big hand covering almost half of his small face.

Reaching the end of the alley, Yibo was thrown against the wall, hitting his head against the bare bricks. A moment passed of him regaining his orientation. Once he could see clearly again, he looked up and saw that he was surrounded by two well-built men, both covered in scars and tattoos; a slightly weird bunch one could say.

He suddenly thought about the two weak kids and searched around with his eyes to see if they were still okay... though, strangely enough, they were no longer present, almost as if they had disappeared into nothingness.

Laughter resounded in the narrow alley, and Yibo was suddenly kicked in his abdomen, causing him to fall over in pain and groan. He had never been beaten up nor hurt in general, so his body was not used to being inflicted with pain.

''Little boy, you came in the wrong alley. You don't belong here.", one of the two spoke, grinning mischievously, showing his horribly taken care of teeth.

Yibo spoke in a small voice, afraid to anger them even more, "I am s-sorry, I am new to th-the city. I will leave now."

He tried his best to find his center of gravity but was pushed down again.

"You ain't going nowhere before we get what we want." (grammatical error present on purpose to show how uneducated and malmannered the man is)

Yibo remained looking at them until he received a punch straight to his face, which made his neck abruptly and unnaturally turn the other way.

"You're quite a pretty boy. It is a shame to ruin that face of yours."

Infinite time passed, the young boy was searched from head to toe for anything that was worth stealing. The two men found only his smartphone, some pocket money Yibo's mother had given him before they had left their house and a watch, which was a relatively recent edition.

Yibo's face was red and wet with tears ceaselessly falling from his eyes and rolling down his soon-to-bruise face. After receiving a few more hits, at last, the men were satisfied and left the boy to fend for himself.

The injured boy remained sprawled on the pavement and wanted to close his eyes for just a bit. Minutes ticked away when Yibo heard steady footsteps coming closer to his body. His eyes felt heavy, but he wanted to see if maybe the men had remained because they had changed their mind on being satisfied with solely that.

He minutely moved his head, as every part of his body ached him and saw Xiao Zhan looking down at him expressionless, eyes filled with nothing but emptiness... it looked like that boy looking down on him was not even Xiao Zhan anymore.

...

Yibo awoke and found himself once again in the hospital.

_At this rate, is this place going to be my second home?_

The tired boy released a sigh of relief, thinking that he was lucky as things could have gone much worse.

The Wang opened his eyes, hoping to see his parents after searching for them in the market for so long by himself. Though instead, he was greeted by none other than Xiao Zhan.

"Finally decided to wake up Yibo?"

The boy in question was, in brief, surprised to see Xiao Zhan and not his parents. He wondered where his parents where since usually his mother was always a huge worrywart when it came to her child.

"Where are my parents?"

"They are talking with the doctor outside, your wound on your arm seemed to be reopened, and you suffered from a concussion... I believe I don't understand all this medical stuff." Xiao Zhan laughed lightheartedly and rubbed his nose several times.

Some time passed in silence, and all of a sudden, the atmosphere changed.

"So, did those two young kids manage to find their mother?"

Yibo thought back to what had happened and recalled that when the two men arrived, the two kids had already disappeared. So, there was no way to truly confirm if they had or not. Therefore, Yibo solely shrugged, not wanting to think deeply about what he had gone through.

These few days, life was challenging Yibo's strength, both mentally and physically.

...

After reassuring his parents, the doctors had decided that he should stay overnight just in case, and when visiting hours were over, Yibo's parents, along with Xiao Zhan, were forced to leave and go home without him.

Once all lights went off, Yibo was surrounded by the dark.

We all know that once nighttime comes, all sorts of thoughts come out to play, and this was certainly the case for Yibo...

_But I never told Xiao Zhan that I had met two young kids..._


	5. Chapter Four

Summer ended with Xiao Zhan theoretically becoming the second son of the Wang family; not that highly welcomed by the true son, Yibo. The boy of the landlady effortlessly charmed the adults and managed to even melt the ice-cold facade of Yibo's father... but not Yibo.

The fifteen-year-old Wang had nothing against the other per se, it was just that - whenever he got hurt or during an occurrence of a mishap - Xiao Zhan would be present or ask him unusual questions. Always leaving the Wang feel utterly confused. Yibo couldn't deny that the latter was certainly talented in many fields and donned winsome features, yet he still felt restless in his presence.

...

Initially, Yibo had thought that, once school started for both himself and Xiao Zhan, he would not see the latter as frequently. Yet, on the first day, the Wang had entered the classroom tardy and so - after passing the introductory session - he could only take up the remaining free seat; perfectly in the centre row. His footsteps echoed in the large room as everyone was observing the new student and at that, the boy attracting so much attention to himself, kept his gaze glued to the floor whilst tightening his grip on the schoolbag. Arriving at his seat, Yibo quietly sat down and waited until the lesson would reach its end already.

The bell rang - indicating the end of their first period and the beginning of the next - and students shared small chitchats between getting out their necessary academic books. On the other hand, the newcomer hadn't even looked at his deskmate and fixed his gaze straight ahead 'till he heard a familiar-sounding voice, "Are you going to look at me and tell me 'good morning' or not, Yibo?"

The new student jolted in his seat and briskly turned his head to face the person who spoke to him. Both their gazes met in a split second. Yibo, as his usual shocked self, had his mouth slightly agape whilst the other toothily smiled, showing on full display his bunny teeth.

"Well?"

Yibo, descending from his moment of stupor, asked quickly - completely ignoring what the latter had said to him initially, "Xiao Zhan?! You are in the same class as I am, seriously?"

The young boy in question dramatically sighed and confirmed Yibo's theory, stating that everything must have been planned out by the Gods for them to be together.

Hearing such idiotic things from his deskmate, the Wang rolled his eyes and this time it was his turn to sigh and lay his head upon his crossed arms on the desk.

"And just for your information we won't be changing our deskmates, so you are going to be stuck with me for some time."

"Perfect, just what I wanted..."

_ November of the same year _

As months passed, Yibo, bit by bit, began to accept the pestering Xiao Zhan; who almost always stayed by his side. There were moments when in the newly transferred boy's mind suspicions would arise but he slowly came to terms with the sometimes weird actions the latter would do.

Ever since that incident at their new apartment, Yibo had not heard the unknown voice nor saw the black-cloaked entity. This made him utterly sure that everything was just molded thanks to his imagination.

Although, the hospital did truly become his second home and these many injuries caused him to sustain various insulting jokes at school; whilst at home, his mother rarely told him to do something since he became labelled as the biggest klutz.

Being right in the prime of autumn everyone dressed heavily and almost every inch of their bodies was covered up.

One particular day was more numbing than the rest and Yibo did not agree very well with the cold; easily falling sick and remaining bedridden for a few days. After going through his morning routine and taking the necessary vitamins he needed, Yibo waved at his parents; wishing his father a good day at work.

Closing the door behind him the Wang, who was already freezing after leaving the warm apartment for not even a few seconds, was immediately greeted by Xiao Zhan. 'The reindeer' - a nickname Yibo had given the latter once he realised how his nose would become cherry red at low temperatures. It had become their habit of walking to school together as they lived in the same building and always left at the same time, they inevitably met every single time.

''Good morning, how come you came all the way up here? Usually, you just wait at the entrance." Yibo quizically said.

The latter just shrugged, saying that he wanted to keep himself warm and quickly ushered Yibo to move or they would have gotten late.

_ One year later _

''Finally, the exams finished! I thought my mind was going to fucking explode!"

A student said on the top of his voice once the last bell of the year resounded in all the premises. All students felt the weight on their shoulders ease off and their once glum faces gleamed again.

Yibo and Xiao Zhan had given in their papers before, the others as they had found quite simple, and waited silently until the time was up. Cheers and shouts were heard. The two still deskmates smiled and nodded at each other almost like they were saying _'Good job.'_

_ That summer, July _

Yibo found himself for the hundredth time (almost literally) at the hospital, sadly, he was going to remain there for quite a while. In short, his long list of activities he had planned to do that summer had gone down the drain. He was accompanied as always by his friend Xiao Zhan and his mother.

The Wang had begun taking lessons of dance for already a few months - against his parents will as they knew that he would have gotten hurt even more. When, after a very long and overtaxing practice, as he was walking up the stairs to his apartment, he lost his footing and tumbled down from where he had come from. This caused him a fractured ankle, some stitches to the head and a dislocated right shoulder.

_Could have been worse..._

Yibo woke up to find his mischievous friend writing on his casted leg.

"Yah! What are you writing?"

The boy caught red-handed, put up his hands in the air jokingly and lightly said, "I was just writing some heartfelt get well soon messages, Yibo!"

His bedridden friend looked at him suspiciously, not believing that Xiao Zhan had written something heartfelt. Yibo asked triumphantly, "Then, how about you read it out loud for me?"

The boy in question cleared his throat dramatically and spoke out loud, "Dear Yibo, if you keep on getting hurt like this you will die soon enough... Heal up soon!"

Yibo looked at him with his eyes gauging out of his sockets. _Is that supposed to be a heartfelt message?_

 _"_ What is with that face?", Xiao Zhan said innocently.

"You literally said that I am going to die soon!"

"No, I did not! I said if you keep on being clumsy... Either way, I won't allow you to die, Yibo." His voice from being very loud and comprehensible gradually diminished into a slight murmur.

"What was that?"

"Nothing, Yibo. You aren't going to die, just be more careful. You should get some more rest now..." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: right now Yibo and Zhan are seventeen years old.


	6. Chapter Five

_Next year, graduation from high school_   
  


Another year passed. Yibo and Zhan found themselves becoming the closest of friends. Day in and day out, they would spend it together no matter the conditions. The speculations of the Wang boy disappeared entirely after time. They spoke about everything and nothing, the scale of importance had no weight to their topics. To each of them, whatever the other said, it had to be remembered. Zhan’s emotions began to evolve into something more, yet, he decided to keep everything bottled up and just enjoy the moments he spent with the other.

They were eighteen now, knowing the other for two years. It was time for them to graduate and move on to university; maybe not together anymore. 

A few days before their graduation, in Yibo’s room, Zhan reassured him that no matter what happened - if they were to be separated - he would always remain by his side. Care for him when he gets hurt, talk to him when he is down or just simply wants to feel that presence, “I’ll always be here, Bo.” 

The latter wanted to trust him but his mind brought up memories of that day when he had to say goodbye to his town friends...when they had promised to keep in touch but whenever he tried to contact them no one would even bother to reply. Zhan knew what he was thinking as Yibo had told him a while back of how hurt he was when his supposed friends just abandoned him in that way. The city boy hugged his best friend whilst saying, “I am not the same as them. Yibo, I consider you as my confidant. I trust you wholeheartedly and stand by my words… I will never let you go unless you tell me to do so yourself. So, trust me. I am by your side now and I will be in the future.” 

They remained in that position for as long as they could. It was a moment between two boys who desperately craved for such. One needed the reassurance; the feeling of having such importance in Zhan’s life. The other needed that reassurance as well, reassurance that Yibo accepted him as a confidant, that believed in his words. It was a moment of even-strength gathering. Neither knew what future awaited them but together, they would overcome it. The epitome of friendship; a connection that people seek for in their own lives...they had found it. 

Their graduation occurred, farewells to the professors who taught them diligently were done. After the ceremony, the two boys disappeared from the hectic crowd and walked, for the last time, in those wide corridors and classrooms - which were full of pleasant and painful memories. Every time they passed by a certain place they shared each others’ memories of one another. The high school truly is a wonderful yet strenuous experience.   
  
  


_5th August, Yibo turns 18_   
  
  


Yibo had recovered just a few days prior from another incident and he was still taking things lightly. Lately, all the injuries inflicted on his body started to take longer to heal. He was always tired and the simplest of things became an obstacle for the boy. He started to feel afraid of getting hurt so many times...he knew it was not in the norm. 

Nonetheless, that day signalled his first day of being an adult, no longer a mere underage boy. Zhan had promised to take him out during the day and then, they would celebrate his birthday at the latter’s home; alongside his father and mother. Nothing, absolutely nothing will ruin his time with his friend. Yibo was exhilarated, to say the least. Lately, whenever he was with Zhan he would feel like a moth attracted to light. He just could not explain why but it surely was not an unwelcomed feeling. 

He got dressed by carefully examining his clothes beforehand and he was good to go right when the doorbell rang. 

Once he opened the door, Yibo was immediately assaulted in a tight hug by none other than Xiao Zhan, “Happy Birthday, Bo!” 

In his moment of excitement, the energetic boy dared and pecked the former’s cheek, who - thanks to this action - became cherry red.   
  


_October 9th of the same year_   
  


Both of the boys had initiated a new chapter of their lives and it was a rather hectic one. They had managed to enter in the same prestigious university but, obviously, in different faculties. The time the boys had for each other was not much and now, they even had to carpool with other people, so they would not need to leave home even earlier for the bus. Yibo and Zhan briefly saw each other at the premises and would sometimes study at one’s home in the afternoon, if both were available. 

The Wang did not want them to continue this way, they were not very used to staying away from each other for a long period of time. With this in mind - and the fact that he was 18 - he decided to get his driver’s license… Maybe I could drive him to and from uni. 

He was aware of the risks he would have to make himself undergo as a well-known klutz but he wanted to do it. Not just for his Zhan but also for his own independence. 

For a month Yibo juggled his studies, assignments and driving lessons. Luckily, dance gave him very good limb coordination; making him pick up fairly easily the ways of driving. He kept what he was doing a secret from his friend, wanting to surprise him once the time was right. 

On October 9th it was down pouring and Yibo saw it as a perfect opportunity to test out his driving skills. 

“Yibo, you can forget driving my car in this weather without me!”, his mother yelled disapproving at her son’s careless thoughts. Yibo could not disobey his parent; after all, that car was not his own. 

Therefore, they set off together into the rain… 9th October...a day Yibo will always regret. 

The boy carefully drove to the supermarket with his mother attentively giving him directions and pointers on what he should and should not do. 

Everything was going smoothly so far. He managed to find a parking place just two blocks away from their destination and, sharing an umbrella, they began their brisk walk. 

As they were walking on the pavement, a couple - consisted of two men - came running past them; holding each other’s hands and laughing loudly as water began to soak through their garments. 

Yibo let his features mould into a minute smile, thinking what a wonderful scene he had just witnessed. Though, his smile abruptly fell when he heard his mother, right next to him, release a scoff of disapproval. 

“What a disgrace.” 

The boy abruptly stopped; remaining under the rain as his mother had yet to realise he was not following. “Bo, get over here! You’ll get sick!” 

Yibo did what he was told to do but his mind was elsewhere during their stay at the supermarket. He never knew that his mother hated non-heterosexual couples. She always seemed to be open-minded and kind to everyone. Though, when those two appeared it was almost as if she was another person. 

The Wang boy had come to the conclusion that he had more than just platonic feelings for Xiao Zhan and he had planned on confessing. Both to his parents and to his best friend. He thought that, especially by his mother, he would be accepted. After all, it was not like he was committing a crime for falling in love. 

Knowing that he would not be accepted, gave Yibo a painful jab to his chest but he could not just let it slide. Once they were done from the supermarket, the rain had furtherly increased; making the distance of visibility diminish incredibly. 

The new driver ignited the car and set off, gaining the courage to speak up about his most inner thoughts. 

“My dear, you’ve been out of it all day. Is everything alright?” 

_Nothing is going to be alright after what I tell you, Ma…_

He tightened his hands on the stirring wheel until his skin began turning white with the force of his action. Yibo took a deep breath and opened his mouth, “Ma… I like Xiao Zhan… and n-not in a friendly way.” 

"What was that, Bo? I did not understand what you meant." 

Yibo, at that moment, was having a conflict of emotions. _Should I just brush it off and pretend it was nothing or tell her?_

The pitter-patter of rain against the car glass and the windshields unbearable squeaky noises reigned upon everything else. Moments passed in this manner until the elder decided that it was enough and demanded a proper answer from her son. The boy in question had no choice but to put an end to his internal dilemma and answer. 

"I love Xiao Zhan… I prefer men rather than women…I am g-gay, Ma." 

He spoke in a louder voice, trying to keep under control his emotions but at the end of his confession, Yibo's voice cracked. A dam broke and out came gushing his feelings. 

"I didn't bring you up to become like this, Yibo! Do you know what this means? All the work your father and I have put into raising you just went down the drain. All our sacrifices to make you become the best version of yourself. And this is how you are going to reward us, huh?! Tainting the Wang name just for a naive boy who you'll forget in a bit, a waste! You will be shunned by society, is that what you want? Just for a simple crush? No, Yibo I am not letting you turn into that. You will get a girlfriend and have kids once you have a secure salary. You just have not found the right girl and your mixing up a friendship with love…that's all this is."

He felt his lungs constricting painfully, raggedly breathing. Yibo's vision worsened as tears began to accumulate but he did not want them to fall. He needed to step up for his rights, for his Zhan; who was labelled as just being a phase…making it look like his emotions were nothing, held no importance in comparison to his mother. He could not allow that. Another emotion started to rise, one that could be easily recognised; anger. 

"You have brought me up well but this does not make me 'immune' to other sexualities, Ma! You don't become, I was born like this. It is no crime and those who will shun me can do as they please, I don't care! I just want to be happy and share that very happiness with the man I love. I am not tainting our family name, I-" 

At this moment, Yibo knew that he made such a grave mistake… an irrecuperable one at that. He had diverted his attention from the road ahead, his mind was solely focused on an objective.

As he was letting out his emotions, Yibo continued driving ceaselessly… He should have stopped and discussed calmly, without having to drive a potential weapon which can hurt others but also those in it...but he did not think about it, neither of them did. 

Whilst he was speaking, Yibo had turned around to face his mother - who was remaining silent - and looking out from the passenger's window, a bright light evaded his vision. A look of terror appeared on his face and his reflex went into action. He tried to swerve away from the coming car but it was fruitless. When Yibo was trying to escape from the inevitable disaster it was already too late. In mere seconds his life changed. 

The car completely bashed into the passenger's side and both cars went skidding; caused by the slippery roads. Then, everything halted. No more screams. No more screeching metallic noises. Just rain. Falling down meticulously, without skipping a single beat. 

Caused by carelessness, that day would always remain impressed in Yibo's mind. That day, he lost his mother. That day, he truly considered himself as an unfortunate person…  
  


…   
  


"Bo...please wake up. Don't l-leave me." 

Yibo fluttered his eyes open and came face to face with his love. Was all that just a stupid dream? 

Though he felt disorientated, he looked around to understand where he was… the hospital.

_I must have gotten hurt again, no surprise there._

"Yibo, you scared me so much… If you did not wake up sooner, I-I would have gone crazy. Please don't do that again." 

"What happened, Zhan?" 

This time, he did not want his dream to become reality. He could tell that the latter was unsteady, his features dimmed. Sunken in cheeks, chapped lips, black under his eyes, disheveled hair. _Could it be?_

"Bo… you got into a car accident a-and…" 

"What is it?!", Yibo could not take the suspense anymore, he needed a definite response before his heart began to beat uncontrollably fast. 

"Your mother d-died on the spot… it was already too l-late when the medics came…" 

The days that came were pure torture. His father blamed him. He blamed himself. He hated himself. 

Yet, he had one solace during his many long moments of countless tears running down his face. Xiao Zhan. 

He never left him. Took care of him unconditionally even though he did not know the reason behind the accident. He was there, no matter what… Just like how he had promised. 

_I cannot live without you anymore, Zhan… Please never leave…_


	7. Chapter Six

Yibo had taken a small break from his studies. His mind was always elsewhere and going to the university would have solely earned him stares from every passerby. The incident of October 9th spread like wildfire; further increasing Yibo’s declining condition. Once the young Wang was allowed to go back home, Xiao Zhan - who had stayed by his side as much as he could, especially when the former’s father was present - accompanied him back. 

Zhan had not yet asked anything regarding what happened. The boy was curious but taking care of Yibo was his priority. Knowing that, he waited until the latter was prepared enough to open up about it by himself. 

When Yibo found himself in front of his apartment’s door, he halted in his steps. Memories of joyous moments he had passed together with his mother assaulted his mind. Acknowledging the fact that those were just the past and none of them could be repeated, was quite a feat. Guilt was the major emotion that the boy had been living with for the past week. 

Xiao Zhan was behind his friend and realised the hesitation in his friend’s actions. After giving Yibo some time to adjust, the boy wrapped his arm delicately around the immobile figure and whispered words of encouragement. At this moment, Yibo was pulled out from his trance-like state and faced the other boy. Only a few centimetres separated them. The Wang had never found himself so close to his Zhan and he took it as an opportunity to take in every detail. His eyes roamed down to the latter’s lips. The desire grew and, to hold it back, Yibo looked at the other’s eyes. 

_Crap, this is even worse!_

They both stared at each other, losing themselves. Eyes lead to the soul as one might say… indeed it was exactly that. The boys read one another’s emotions. Understanding them. Understanding the emotions which are seldomly shown in public. They were vulnerable to each other. Letting themselves go and falling into each other’s arms. 

Despair, pain, guilt, helplessness. 

These are what Zhan saw initially. The longer he looked the more he felt. Under all those tears which slowly began to fall from Yibo’s eyes, the observer saw something more. Something very hard to let pass unnoticed. It was love. As the tearful boy continued to let loose his emotions, Zhan began to cry as well. A scene that neither of them had ever witnessed. The guilt-ridden boy quickly wiped the first tear which dared to run down his friend’s face. 

“Why are you crying, Zhan?” 

The boy in question opted to not reply. It was not the moment to get sidetracked, after all, they would have all the time in the world later on. 

Not wanting to leave Yibo worried, Zhan wiped away both of their tears and embraced him for a short while, “Come on, Bo. Let’s go inside, I’m right beside you.”   
  


After inhaling deeply, he turned the doorknob and entered into his home. Both removed their shoes and walked towards the living room. The apartment was already lit up before they had come in, meaning that Yibo’s father finished work early. The boys took small steps, anxiety ran through their veins. 

Stepped foot into the living room, a cold aura emanated from the man sitting on the couch. Once the boys were in his view, the adult ignored his son and turned to look at the ‘intruder’, “Zhan, you have no reason to be here. Leave.” 

His voice resounded in the still apartment, sounding imperative; not allowing a mere margin for negotiation. Zhan and Yibo shared a glance, the latter nodding his hand in reassurance. 

Father and son were left alone shortly afterwards. Their relationship could no longer be labelled as father-son, the adult made it clear that he was on the verge of rejecting him. They had become strangers living under the same roof. 

Yibo still was not asked by him what caused the accident. What caused him to be distracted, so distracted to take away a person’s life and severely injure another. The boy was aware that the time had come to confess his wrongdoings. 

“There is no use for me to tell you what you need to explain. Go on.” 

Under that unmoving gaze, Yibo felt so little, scrutinised - even though he was the one standing up whilst the other was seated. To stand in front of your father, guilty of killing his wife and your own mother, but also coming out, was slowly eating away at Yibo’s skin. He knew how much his father loved his wife. He also knew that the man was utterly close-minded when it came to certain topics, such as the one he was being forced to talk about. 

Yibo started to speak shakily. It was not easy for the boy to relive that terrifying moment but he had to. He narrated everything, not leaving a single detail out even if he wanted to. The listener remained silent, keeping his expressionless facade up. Time passed slowly. Yibo took breaks ever so frequently to keep his emotions under control. 

“My wife died just because you couldn’t accept the fact that she was protecting you from this fucking horrible society. We have been taking care of you to the best of our capabilities. You know yourself what it means to be homosexual, I am sure that at school you’ve seen how mistreated they are and yet when your own mother told you not to be this way, you just didn’t care...what a disgrace indeed. You have her face... it disgusts me so much that you are sharing my family’s name. How do you even have the face to come back here? Haven’t you done enough?”

Every word his father said was dripping in pure detestation. Every phrase felt like a physical stab directed to Yibo’s heart. The poor boy’s breathing became unstable and salty tears ceaselessly ran down his face. 

“Don’t you dare act like that in front of me! Leave this instant, go to that loverboy of yours!” 

Yibo instinctively turned around and, on wobbly legs like a newborn fawn, made his way to the door. He struggled to turn the doorknob, he just wanted to get away from there as quick as possible. Before he could complete his action, the door opened; causing the distraught boy to fall forward in the person’s arms. 

“Bo, are you okay?” 

Recognising his saviour’s voice, Yibo began to loudly sob. Holding tight the fabric of his friend’s top and placing his head at the nook of Xiao Zhan’s neck. 

After being told to leave, Zhan had no intention of going home before seeing in what condition his friend was in and so, he remained to wait outside. Once he got such a distressed Yibo in his arms, the boy was still in the dark of many things, the only thing he could do was support him. 

“Bo, how about you come over to mine? You can stay there for as long as you’d like.” 

Yibo gave a minute nod.   
  


…  
  


"Are you sure you don't want to have dinner, dear? It will help you in feeling better!" 

Being welcomed into such a warm and comforting abode gave Yibo a moment of tranquillity. Though as he saw how Zhan interacted with his own mother, the Wang knew he was going to remain privy of such scenarios for the rest of his life. 

After turning down countless offers of food, Yibo was led to his friend's bedroom they were going to share. 

"Hope you don't mind sleeping in the same bed, Bo. If so, I can just sleep in the living room."

"No no, I don't mind at all."

Once they had taken turns at using the bathroom and changing into sleepwear, the boys found themselves sitting face to face on Zhan's bed, in silence. 

"Zhan, just give me some more time and I will tell you-" 

"Shhh… I am not going anywhere, you have all the time you need.", he said whilst keeping his finger pressed onto Yibo's lips, preventing the latter from interrupting.   
  


…

His stay began to prolong itself, making Yibo feel the need to at least explain a small part about why he could not go back home. No one had asked and both parents took care of him as if he were their own son. After two days of living there, when the boys were getting ready for bed Yibo called out the other, "Zhan, could I speak with you for a moment before we go to sleep?" 

The boy in question had his back facing the anxious other, as he was changing his upper garment. Hearing that strange question, Zhan turned around mid-action and raised an eyebrow quizzically," Bo, you don't have to ask permission. You can talk to me whenever and about whatever." 

Done changing, he moved to sit on the bed and patted the space next to him, "Go ahead."

Yibo felt at ease seeing how his friend was waiting with wide-open ears and a reassuring smile that spoke volumes. 

"Three days ago, when I went back home… I told dad about what happened and it didn't go well haha."

His eyes began to glisten and he entered a hysterical fit of laughter. Was what he was saying funny? On the contrary. 

Zhan, realising that his friend started to have struggling breathing, jumped into action."Yibo, listen to me, okay? Breathe deeply, in and out… Follow what I do. There is no need to force yourself, I know he kicked you out. My home is yours now, Bo. I talked with mother already, she does not mind having another son to take care of."   
  


The very next day, Zhan forced Yibo to leave the premise, stating that he couldn't live like a hermit for the rest of his life. When they opened the door they found a suitcase right at their doorstep. The boys shared looks and took in the suitcase to examine its contents. 

There were clothes and books; University school books. 

"How can a father act this way to their own son?!", Zhan angrily yelled, shutting the suitcase close. 

"Zhan, please calm down. He is right. I deserve this for what I have done and become…"

"It was a damn accident, Bo! Your self-guilt and pain, are enough of a punishment." 

"You don't know everything, Zhan… I deserve this and more." 

The latter sighed and ran his hands through his hair, "Let's talk about this another time. Today is supposed to be full of fun and happiness. Come on, Bo."

…   
  


That year, Yibo passed Christmas with a family not his own. Slowly but surely, the boy began to feel like he actually had a place in their world. His relationship with Zhan had gotten even more intimate thanks to them having only one bed. The nights started to become colder and they would hug each other to feel warm. At least Yibo's life was not solely filled with cons.   
  
  
  


_Next year, 8th October, 19 years old_   
  


Yibo lived under the same roof as his crush for a year now and he had yet to confess his feelings. He was not afraid to. After living with the other for so long, the boy started to realise how the latter would silently observe him when he thought Yibo was not paying attention. They became to furtherly crave skin contact and it was not much of a secret between them that they had feelings for each other. It was just that neither had the courage to bring it up. 

Besides that topic regarding their love, Yibo still had not explained to Zhan what happened. Now that so much time had passed, Yibo had matured more and even though he still regretted what happened, he knew that he could not change the past. 

The best we can do is move on from the past. Close that chapter of our lives but keep those actions close to heart. Only this way we will manage to move on and not make the same mistake repeatedly. And this is the conclusion Yibo came up with. 

Though, hiding such an important part of his life from Zhan was not a good idea. The latter never questioned him but it was only right that he knew everything… and honestly, Yibo could not keep his emotions in check for much longer. 

It was 8th October, one day before it all happened last year. The two boys had studied together during the day and once it was nighttime, they finally left their books alone and focused on each other. Zhan and Yibo layed down on the bed, leaving only a few centimeters between their faces.   
  


"Zhan… I've been thinking about it a lot and I want you to accompany me to visit my mother tomorrow. Is that alright?" 

Zhan had a toothy smile plastered on his face and lovingly patted Yibo's head, "Anything for you, Bo. We'll go early morning."


	8. Chapter Seven

_9th October_

The day he dreaded most had finally arrived. He was uncertain whether he even had the right to visit her. What would happen if he were to meet his father? That night Yibo’s mind could not cease overthinking about scenarios that may or may not happen. One of the many reckless nights the boy accumulated as years passed. The only solace he had that night was Xiao Zhan.

Moonlight rays touched delicately Zhan’s skin. He gleamed. His features enhanced tenfolds. The boy in front of him was utterly ethereal. Zhan’s lips were slightly agape as warm breath fanned on the staring boy. _Seeing him sleep so peacefully is enough for me_. Thereafter, hours passed and the sun took the moon’s place once again. Yibo had given up on getting some sleep and just waited patiently for the Xiao family to leave the land of dreams. 

An alarm clock, in the shared bedroom, went off at five in the morning; slowly awakening the dormant boy. The insomniac Yibo was about to leave the bed with the idea in mind to turn off the blurring sound but he was stopped. Right when he was going to privy himself of the warm thick quilt, an arm wrapped around his midsection, “Bo, where are you going? You're gonna get cold into bed…” 

Xiao Zhan, still slumberous, tried to convince the other not to leave. His deep, drowsy morning voice made Yibo immobile. That euphonious voice caressed the latter’s ears in the most delicate yet tantalizing way possible. “Zhan, we should get ready to leave… It takes a while to get there by bus.”

Yes, after that accident Yibo could not bring himself to drive a car. He had tried to drive alone but he just could not trust himself anymore; driving with Zhan present was definitely out of the question. 

Zhan slowly began to realise what they had planned to do early morning and tightened his hold around Yibo; almost as if he wanted to send all his strength and courage to the other. After letting a few minutes pass in that position, he took in a deep breath and, quite literally, rolled out of bed. “Bo, I’m going to make us something for breakfast. In the meantime go get clean, you grimy little lion.” 

Before Yibo could throw a pillow to his friend, the latter had already made his escape and the former found himself in the now lonely bed. 

Just around the time Yibo finished going through his morning routine with ease, a mouth-watering odour wafted into the bathroom. The boy had taken a liking to Zhan cooking for him. The house felt warm with love and the additional scent of food confirmed how much the place was lived in. His heart was full. No longer empty, craving for said love and comfort. He had found it and never wanted to let it go. Even after death. 

As he prowled into the kitchen, the chef hadn’t caught his presence; having his back facing Yibo. The newcomer stayed looking at the other working away. His friend was so concentrated on cooking. Yibo could just imagine Zhan’s face at the moment; with his bottom lip being bitten and his eyebrows slightly creased. _Can he get even cuter?_

“Ehm… Good morning, boys!”, with the fright, Yibo’s soul was on the verge of leaving his body. He spun around and found ‘their’ mother looking at him affectionately. Hearing the warming welcome, Zhan turned around from the stove. “Ma, morning!” 

“Did we wake you up? It is still very early before you need to go to work.”, Yibo asked, concern dripping in each pronounced word. 

The elder shook her head in negation and patted his back, “My dear, I wanted to wish you both a good day before you left and that whatever may happen, this will always be your home… Make sure to eat well boys, don’t come back too late.”, just as quick as she appeared, the lady left the kitchen. 

Thereafter Yibo thanked the other for cooking and they ate silently, both savouring the comfortable silence. 

…

The closer they got to their destination, the anstier Yibo got. Due to the early hour, the bus had barely any occupants initially. Now as they reached the cemetery, they were the sole ones on the public transportation. “May the person you are visiting rest in peace. Remember that that person isn’t dead until they are forgotten. Once they are no longer in your heart...that is when they actually die.” 

Both boys had halted in their steps when the driver had begun to speak. “Thank you for sharing such wise advice with us, Sir. We will make sure to never let that person go. Have a good day.” Xiao Zhan spoke well-mannered and afterwards, both showed their gratitude by bowing down. 

Leaving the road behind them, they found themselves walking in a vast green land; littered with many memorials of people who had left their world for one reason or another. Some were spotless - not even a speck of dust - decorated with colourful and freshly picked flowers, whilst others were left to their own devices; the damage of natural changes could be easily seen by the naked eye. 

As the distance began to diminish, between the two boys and one of their loved ones, Yibo tightened his grip on the bouquet of pink carnations - which they had bought along the way. They walked slowly but their steps never stopped. 

The thumb stone they were in search of, finally appeared in their vision. A black slab of marble decorated with flowers and unlit candles. 

Yibo knelt down and the latter followed suit. The Wang did not know what to really do. He was not sure if he was even _allowed_ to be there, let alone actually speak with her. They had been separated from each other when both were blinded with pain and anger. No sorry or thank yous could have been said before her passing. Yibo regretted this the most, he did not put himself in his parents' shoes. Both parties had remained stubborn with their own beliefs, neither willing to adjust to the others. 

Though then it was different. He was not by himself, he had Xiao Zhan right next to him… The reason why all of this had happened, was present yet ignorant of the events caused indirectly by him. 

Without delving further into his endless thoughts, Yibo released a sigh; allowing his emotions to tranquilise and placed carefully the flowers at the base of the slab. 

He looked at his silent friend and saw that the latter was praying, with his hands together and head bent slightly - seemingly eyes closed. After a few moments, Zhan finished his prayer and the boy's gave fell upon Yibo. He did not want to speak, wanting to maintain the silence, and so he simply nodded. _you can speak with your mother, Bo. It is alright, say whatever you did not manage to say before. I'm here._

Alas, it was time for Yibo to speak to his mother. It was time to tell Zhan about everything. 

The anxious boy looked up at the sky and saw nothing but grey, heavy clouds. Just like last year. The weather easily depicted the way he felt and he would not have been surprised if it had started to rain during their stay there. 

"Ma… It is me… Your little lion. I want to say sorry for not managing to come to your funeral, what a bad son I am, aren't I? I need to apologise for what I have d-done to you. If I had just stayed silent that day none of this would have happened. I'm truly s-sorry for being the way I am… I know how much I put you both through while you were still here… Please, forgive me. 

I and dad had a fall out a bit after you l-left u-us and I am now living with… Xiao Zhan. Please don't blame him for what happened. I'm thankful his parents took me in and 'til now I have been living a good life. 

Ma, I understand what you were warning me about but I want to take the risk… I hope I will still have your blessings. 

I love you, m-mother… So much and that will never change. I've changed since then and I want to show you how much I have grown… I miss you… Today, the bus driver gave us wise advice. He said 'as long as your heart still remembers that person, they will live on. Only once they are forgotten by your heart, will they actually leave'. Ma, this gave me strength. He's right, you are n-not gone. You are now living inside of me, closer than ever. I feel your presence every day, I know you are watching over me… My guardian angel I don't deserve after all I have done. 

Mother, in your presence I want to tell him everything… This may seem disrespectful but I hope you'll bare with me. I wish you to witness this and maybe understand how deep all of this goes." 

He interrupted his monologue and quickly wiped away the lone tears which were threatening to fall. 

"Bo…", Yibo felt a hand running up and down his spine in a soothing manner. He turned abruptly and grabbed the latter's hand. "Zhan, I want to tell you now. I'm ready." 

The other had his eyes wide open and looked carefully at his friend's eyes; he did not want the other to force himself. After seeing such determination, the boy had little to go against. "As you wish, Bo." 

_I can finally get this off my chest, my repressed feelings can be free._

He began to narrate what they had seen on their way to the supermarket, his mother's reaction and how he felt seeing such. Then he reached the crux of the matter. Why the argument started and what it was about… 

"Zhan, I think after all this time you are aware of my sexual orientation…I came out that day in the car and that was how it started. She was completely against it and we just couldn't reach eye to eye… But, there is more to it besides me being gay and so, 'abnormal' in this society. I… I told her that I had fallen in love with someone, making her angrier and even myself after she called my feelings meaningless and superficial...the rest you know… "

Yibo's gaze never strayed away from the latter's face. Observing every emotion the other would show during his storytelling. 

Shock, incredulity. 

"Bo…you have yet to tell me who is that person." 

Yibo let a small loving smile adorn his face. 

"And here I thought Zhan was smart."

"I can't say before a confirmation from you." 

Yibo lightly laughed and fully turned around to the other. 

"The person I love is… you. I love you, Xiao Zhan. You've always been by my side, through thick and thin. This might seem cliché but I have no other words to describe it… You were my missing puzzle piece, I'm complete now and I only need you. We balance out each other and I can't thank you enough for all what you have done. Thank you for making me feel believed in. Thank you for encouraging me. Thank you for caring. I love you, Zhan."

Before he could process the suddenness of it all, Zhan's lips crashed onto his. Due to the low temperature both of their lips were chapped, yet, a warm sensation travelled through their bodies. Electrifying them. Their immobile lips began to move at the same pace. 

It seemed that not only their lips craved for such contact but even their bodies. The distance between them decreased and Zhan's hands wrapped around the latter's neck whilst Yibo's around the former's waist. 

Both had held back their emotions for so long. They were like two bombs ticking down, slowly but surely, to zero. 

Lost in each others' warm lips time ceased…Nothing else mattered but them. Rationality and logic gave space to those untamed emotions. 

As oxygen began to lack in both individuals, their now red and warm lips departed. No words were spoken, though their eyes spoke magnitudes alone. 

_Will you be my boyfriend, Zhan?_

_You've kept me waiting for so long, Bo. Yes, I want to be your boyfriend._

Everything went unsaid but Zhan's hand tightly holding Yibo's was enough of a response. 

Yibo faced once again his mother and smiled happily. Such a rare smile that had not made an appearance on his face for years now. 

"Ma, I am not alone anymore…There may be bad times that await us in the future, but we are together… And together we will overcome them… I love you, ma and I will visit more often…" 

He bowed down in respect and slowly got up from his kneeling position. Though, the other did not follow suit. Zhan remained staring at the black slab of marble deep in thought. His face began to contort as he was overwhelmed with various emotions. Tears began to gleam his eyes. 

"Mrs. Wang… I beg for your forgiveness… We both know that you aren't in favour of this but yet, we are going against you because we can't do otherwise… I swear that I will always stay by Yibo's side, I'll protect him, care for him… Love him. So, please keep your mind at rest…Take care, Mrs. Wang." 

During his small speech, Yibo was shell-shocked. He was not expecting him to do such an act. Nonetheless, he was grateful. 

Alas, both souls were happy. 


	9. Chapter Eight (Finale)

Days flew by and neither of the boys realised. Everything was going exactly how they both had wished for secretly. After their visit to Yibo’s mother, a sense of relief and happiness overwhelmed them. Zhan proposed to have lunch at his favourite cafè as their first date and Yibo eagerly agreed. The time spent there was not much as one would have expected. As a newly formed couple there were a few moments of awkwardness; both were worried that their actions might have made the other uncomfortable in public. 

Though besides this, Yibo and Zhan always enjoyed going out to cafès and simply talk about anything which came to mind. Finished from the cafè they walked back to their home. The cafè was comforting and surely much warmer than outside. Opening the door a cold gust of wind made Yibo sneeze and unconsciously moved closer to his source of warmth, Zhan. Realising the former’s action, his boyfriend wrapped his arm around Yibo’s slim waist. “Your personal human heater is at your services, my love.” Zhan spoke proudly with a goofy smile adorning his angelic features. 

It seemed that Zhan had already taken a liking to the usage of terms of endearment and seeing the other’s flustered reaction.

They walked side by side, Zhan’s hold still very much present on the latter’s body. The distance between their home and the cafè was only twenty minutes but they had no rush. Leisurely, step by step. Window shopping, sharing glances but neither of them spoke. 

Entering the apartment building the couple remained serene; it was no surprise for them that Zhan’s parents would have definitely congratulated them. His mother never hid her knowing looks directed to the two of them. Yibo opened the door and, hand in hand, they directed themselves to where various noises could be heard. 

In the kitchen, there was Zhan’s father nursing his daily afternoon cup of green tea at the counter whilst his wife washed the dishes; humming under her breath. Both adults were immersed in their own world’s. “Ma, Pa, we’re back.” His greeting was seemingly enough to awaken them. Mother and father raised their gaze simultaneously. First and foremost they carefully observed Yibo’s features - afterall, it was his first time visiting his mother since the accident - but they found no sadness or desperation. The only thing they could perceive was relief, happiness. Though the boy gave off an air of uncertainty; shifting from foot to foot and his slightly red coloured skin was beginning to gleam thanks to a cold sweat. 

Automatically their gazes went to their son and found him quite the opposite. All smiles and cheerfulness. Then the couple’s intertwined hands came into their view and the mother could not help herself but squeal. “Finally, my boys have grown up!” 

Thereafter, all four of them had a mini celebration dinner. 

I’m so happy that from today onwards we can both freely show our love, my little bunny!   
  


…  
  


_ 17th April, 19 years old  _   
  
  


**_Diary entry n. 28_ **

_My relationship with Zhan has been going extremely well. Every minute we have together, we use it to the fullest. It’s been 7 months and we are getting used to the disgusting glances and insulting terms we receive. This was mostly the only cause of our few arguments. I had suggested keeping our relationship as a secret but Zhan disagreed as he believed that we were no different than any other couple. ZhanZhan was right. I was just afraid that it would affect our life in uni...but his words reassured me and thanks to him, I even talked back to the people who are discriminating against us now. We are free and many non-hetero secret couples, in our uni, are beginning to come out and show no bounds. I’m happy that we even managed to help others like us._

_I wish with all my heart that we will stay together even after death…_

_The water stopped running so Zhan must be coming out soon, I’ll stop here today._

_Wang Yibo_   
  
  
  


_ 9th November, 20 years old, been dating for a year and one month _   
  


**_Diary entry n. 36_ **

_I haven’t written on this in quite awhile, been going through a hectic period. Zhan’s mother got admitted to the hospital a week ago for a critical gastric ulcer and we’ve been spending most of our time with her, especially when father is at work. Lately strange things have been happening, I always feel like somebody's watching me but when I told Zhan he said not to worry. It’s been increasing lately and every so often I turn around to hopefully catch the person...but I never do. I hope I am just being paranoid and my mind is just tired with all the stress and things I have been doing._

_Wang Yibo_   
  
  


_ 5th January _

_**Diary entry n. 49** _

_I don’t think I am being paranoid anymore. Things keep on worsening and I know that Zhan is becoming aware of it too. Lately people are starting to disappear and everyday reporters keep on announcing new ones. There is nothing that connects the victims personally but strangely enough they are all people I have come into contact with...even just once. Could this be all a coincidence?_

_On the other hand, I still sense that weird presence and it is starting to not only affect me but also Zhan. Right now, we both are feeling helpless and wish that all this will come to an end soon. I hope the disappearing people will show up again… alive._

_Wang Yibo_   
  


_ 21st May _   
  


“I can’t take this anymore, Zhan! This is insane! We don’t know what is going on and now the police are investigating all of us! They must think that we are the bad guys or at least I since I was the last person each victim met up with! How are we going to get out of this? What if we get the blame because there is no other plausible theory? I don’t want that to happen Zhan, I really don’t!” 

Yibo spoke with tears in his eyes, walking back and forth in their shared bedroom. The man was nearing his limit but yet, he felt that there were still many things that he had to endure for his sake and not only. Zhan did not approach him and remained seated on their bed. He knew that the former right now needed to cool down. “Love, we both know that the police won’t ever do such a thing without evidence and there cannot be because we are innocent, you are innocent. Calm down, Bo and when the police come just answer their questions honestly.” 

Seeing that his words began to take effect on his boyfriend, Zhan got up and closed the distance between them. Their lips touched briefly, furtherly reassuring Yibo that he was not going to do anything alone…that he always had somebody by his side. Zhan spoke again while caressing delicately Yibo’s cheek, “Bo, don’t forget that we got each other. Everything will pass, so stay strong, my love.” 

A few days later it was announced on TV that the first victim was found unconscious on a bench in a park close to Yibo and Zhan’s campus. Though after waking up, the person was not able to recall what happened after his disappearance, stating that he felt like he was stuck in a black void...he described it as a sensation of death. He was hospitalized not for physical injuries, as he was completely fine in that perspective, but rather for mental instability. The victim suffered from insomnia and often began to scream nonsensical things. After two weeks they slowly managed to stabilise him. 

Yibo and Zhan, after hearing the news, were both immensely relieved. Even though still another 12 victims had unknown whereabouts. 

…

Once every week another victim would be found in the most strangest of places; luckily unharmed. Each and single one described the same happenings and went through the same curing process at the hospital as the first found victim. 

No more people disappeared and the couple tried their best to not meet up with anyone to confirm their own theory. 

They were right.

“The person who’s following us must be the kidnapper. Ever since we stopped meeting up with people, there have not been any more disappearances. The question now is: why would somebody use us? What is their purpose?” Zhan spoke thoughtfully; rubbing his nose as he always did when he was thinking. 

Their thought process was cut short when somebody rang the doorbell. They were the only ones home at the moment, so they left their bedroom and went to see who it was. Zhan opened the door a jar to see who had come to visit unannounced but found no one at all. No one was in front of their door. _But we both heard the doorbell, somebody must have pressed it. A prank maybe?_

As he was about to close the door his eyes fell upon an envelope on the doorstep. He was confused but nonetheless, he bent down to collect it and walked back inside to see its contents. “What’s that envelope, Zhan?” 

Neither Zhan knew, as a response he solely shrugged. “Let’s open it and find out.” 

Both men sat down on the couch, letter in Zhan’s hands. Opening the envelope he found a sheet of paper neatly folded. They shared a look and mutely decided to see if there was any address which indicated who was the sender. 

There was no such thing. 

Zhan looked at the paper. It was handwritten in extraordinary calligraphy. It was very rare to come across such an old fashioned way of communication. He began to read but abruptly stopped. The letter was not for him but for his boyfriend. “Bo, maybe you should read it. Whoever sent it wants you to read it.”

Yibo looked at the letter quizzically and took it in his hands. He gave it a quick read and once he began to process the words, his hands began to tremble. “Bo, love? What is wrong?What does it say?” 

Without replying, Yibo tore the paper into pieces and went to the bathroom to flush down the contents. 

“Bo, answer me!” Zhan ran to him and remained shellshocked when the latter faced him with such a terrifying expression.   
  


…

Another two weeks passed without either of them mentioning what had happened that day. Zhan was never told what were the contents and he could not deny that he was slightly mad at Yibo for keeping him in the dark. Their relationship began to become unstable but Zhan was sure that everything would be okay. He had to remain positive for the both of them but he still tried his best to pry out of Yibo what he had read in that mysterious letter.   
  
  


_ 5th July _

**_Diary entry n. 74_ **

_All victims reappeared but we are still being watched. I must say that lately my mental health has not been the best and I think that is why I am trying to use this diary as a let out. Everything is going wrong. Ever since that letter came, I’ve been terrified of what might happen...if whoever wrote it is serious then time is running out and I don’t know what to do._

_Wang Yibo_   
  
  


_ 5th August, Yibo turns twenty-one _   
  


Everything apparently was back to normal. Every missing came back unharmed but the police after a while gave up on trying to find the answer as to what happened. Nobody's whereabouts remained unknown, so what was the point to further investigate? 

Though this was only a moment calm before a terrible storm. 

Yibo turned twenty-one that year but his mind was completely in another place. The letter. The things that were written down on that sheet of paper should have happened on his birthday. 

Fear was eating him away. Nevertheless, when he woke up and found the love of his life taking every single detail of his features in, he could not help but smile sadly. 

"Good morning, my little lion." Zhan went through his daily morning ritual in waking up Yibo; greeting him, kissing him and combing his fingers through the latter's bed hair. 

"Hmm… I am not that little anymore, love." 

"Shush, you will always remain my little lion." 

This was how their day started, the usual banter and actions which declared loudly the amount of love they had for each other. Yibo wanted to take it easy and so the couple remained inside; ate ice cream for breakfast and read a book together on the balcony. 

Zhan knew that Yibo was tackling something on his own. He was never the type to enjoy staying at home all day as he was a sportive man and could not stay in one place before getting bored. He suggested to at least walk to the park but nothing, he was declined. 

Their day passed in a tranquil manner and Yibo unwound gradually but not entirely. He still remained alert and Zhan could not put his finger on it. I _s he expecting something? Someone_

Both men were back into their bed, ready to end the day in the embrace of love and quietude.   
  
  


_ 1st January, twenty-one years old  _   
  


**_Diary entry n. 99_ **

_I guess I've been waiting so long for the letter to come true that I've missed out on so many things. As of late I decided to go out whenever I pleased with Zhan. Who's to say that the sender was not just writing gibberish as a prank or something?_

_Today was the first day of a new year and, as people say, a new beginning. Though I cannot really agree with them because I know that this is not a new beginning. I feel deep in my core that what needed to happen has yet to come… I just wish it is something to end this part of our lives well._

_Me and Zhan have moved into our own apartment; not that far away from our past home. We finally have all the privacy we craved for and I must say that we are using it to the fullest. I wonder what this year will bring…_

_Wang Yibo_   
  
  


_ 29th June, twenty-one years old _   
  


After that strange incident about a year ago, nothing much has changed in the couple's life. Their love deepened and so did their trust in each other. The only arguments they had were minor ones like: who was the one that left an empty packet of snacks or a cereal box in the pantry? Who used the other's skincare? 

You could imagine these arguments were between a married old couple. Such trivial matters which led to lighthearted arguments. 

It was eight in the morning and only Zhan had to attend a morning lesson. They had breakfast together and both got ready for the day. Yibo finished before the other and so, he kissed him goodbye - wishing him to have a good lesson - and laced up his trainers to have his morning run. 

Once he opened the door and he stepped foot outside, Yibo heard the sound of crumpling paper and looked down.

A letter. 

… 

_The Gods have given you a light sentence. On your birthday, the curse will come to an end. Though nothing comes without a cost… When your life renews you shall be free once again_. 

… 

He crumpled up the paper and without hesitation went along, continuing his day as if nothing ever happened. 

When he finished, Yibo usually waited at home for his boyfriend's return around lunchtime. Time passed and it became late afternoon. The clock kept ticking and Yibo's anxiety began to rise every second. 

He went on campus and asked for Zhan's whereabouts but nothing… _Where are you, love?_

… 

_4th August, one day left until Yibo turns twenty-three_   
  


One whole year passed… 

Zhan disappeared from his life. He disappeared into thin air. The police, after months of in vain search, claimed him dead. Yibo died too. All the things he had and was, left with Zhan. His boyfriend's parents did not despise him, they actually took care of him more than ever and encouraged him to wait for Zhan's return. 

He moved back to their apartment as the one he occupied was too big without his lover's presence. 

Yibo did his best to hold on. He took medicine to keep him sane, to help him wait… But every human at a certain point reaches its limits. 

_ 5th August, Yibo turns twenty-three _

He was greeted by Zhan's parents and both wished him a happy birthday. Yibo was then left alone as it was a weekday and the adults had to maintain their own jobs.

He was alone. Empty. Just a human shell. 

This was when Yibo reached his limit. He had reached the finishing line and he was not up for another round. 

**_Diary entry n. 115_ **

_This is the last time I write. I have gone through many things, good and bad. My end is bittersweet. I am sure Ma and Pa will read this first… Thank you for loving me as if I were your own son, thank you… Please don't blame yourselves. Blame me and only me. Continue living for both me and Zhan. I want to see him again… I apologise for being weak but this is my decision. I have reached my limit and sense that it is my time to go._

_I love you all… Ma, Pa, Zhanzhan…_

_Wang Yibo (always your little lion)_   
  
  


Yibo did not shed a tear, as he finished writing the short farewell he minutely smiled. Maybe the letter meant this kind of freedom, the man thought as he closed the door leading to their apartment for the last time. 

He walked up, stair after stair. He felt light. 

Yibo reached the top of the building and let his skin enjoy the last moments of scorching hot August sun. 

He walked to the railing and lifted himself to the other side. Nothing was stopping him now, all he needed to do was let go. Freedom was calling him. 

Yibo looked at the blue canvas and released a deep sigh. "My love, I hope you are well. I love you so much… I'm sorry for being so weak, I am not a good boyfriend… But I also want to say thank you, thank you for everything… You're my angel, Zhan. This is not a farewell, I'll be with you."

Memories played in his mind causing a lone tear to run down his sunken in cheeks. Yibo closed his eyes and prepared to feel free like a bird in mere seconds… 

"Bo!" 

_Why must my mind be so cruel to me till the very end?_

"Bo! It is me, Yibo!" 

… 

"Little lion, come here right now before your bunny comes there!" 

Yibo, for the last time, gave his mind the benefit of the doubt. He slowly turned around and saw none other than, Zhan, his love...but not only… Behind him there was that strange entity he had seen years ago when he had broken something, a mirror perhaps? He could not remember clearly anymore. 

Before he could warn the other, the black entity simply bowed and disappeared into nothing. 

"My love, please come here… I-I've missed you so much… I beg of you, d-don't leave me now that I am back."

"Is it really you or is just my mind giving me my last punishment?" 

Zhan smiled through his endless tears and carefully walked towards the other, not wanting to startle him. 

"It is me, Bo. Come and feel for yourself." 

Yibo, hesitantly jumped to the other side of the railing - now safe - and decreased the distance between them. Zhan kept his arms open and quickly embraced the latter tightly. 

"Everything is over, Bo… I knew some things before and found out everything while I was away...I am sorry for not telling you but I was forced to remain silent. Please forgive me, I needed to leave or you would have suffered even more and I could not take that. I-I love you so much and I am so proud of you… You've been through a lot and yet you remained strong… "

Both remained silent afterwards, letting the latter's words sink in. 

"You said it is over and I believe you… For the part of you knowing about everything, I need a better explanation… later…" 

The man kissed Zhan without any boundaries. He needed that reassurance. He needed to feel Zhan and his love again. 

"I love you." 

… 

_No matter how many misfortunate events one might go through during their lives, destiny will always guide you on the right course, your own personal course. It is up to every individual to label it under good or bad. Destiny does not always bring along joyous moments and for this reason… Misfortune is Destiny._   
  


_ **The End** _


End file.
